X
I’m Rei.
Taurus
16
O Blood
✪ W R I T T E N ✪ J A C K I E ✪ V I C K I ✪ L Y D I A ✪ N I C O L E & A M Y
For some odd reason this is the hardest I've ever attempted to work in my life. I've been passing up everything I love in order to work hard. Eating food, watching stuff, stalking celebrities... Hanging out. Everyday I'm so tired. I feel like all my energy is gone. All for the purpose of "working hard". And sometimes it's towards a destination and a feeling of glory I don't particularly understand. I think mediocre people have the suffocating need to break out of mediocracy. To be good at any one thing, whether it be being social, singing, sports, dieting, being the most interesting person... heck. AP BIO... But sometimes I look at all the effort that is put in... in comparison to my ideal hedonistic lifestyle... and is this the reality I wanted exactly?
-Rei
I can love anyone who speaks with "saturi". I really love Busan people. They're awesome.
-Rei
WHY ARE ALL MY TEACHERS LOSING MY ASSIGNMENTS...?
/rageragerage.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
-Rei
Why Can't I Say?
If I can't be good at anything, might as well do nothing.
Sometimes I try to think I'm good at something, but I can't seem to find anything I'm better than mediocre in. It doesn't matter if I work hard, if I quit. The outcome is all the same. There's really very little point in trying anymore. No. I'm never gonna have an IQ of near 200. I'm never going to understand anything, it doesn't matter if I study or read the book or make notecards or read up on stuff online. I'm never going to be smart. I'm never going to get a good test grade. It doesn't matter if the class is easy, if the test is easy. I'm never going to do well. It's so damn frustrating. It doesn't matter if I try to run more, it doesn't matter if I eat less and eat healthy. It won't make me more fit, it won't make me more skinny. It doesn't matter if I do squats or lunges as a workout all the time. I'm going to be fat, and my thighs are gonna be huge and I'm not going to be even able to buy long boots. It doesn't matter if I learn how to do make up and like to pretend I'm pretty, there's always going to be someone out there that's beautiful and therefore loved. It doesn't fucking matter at all that I try at anything, it doesn't matter if I try to be kind, obedient, a friend, a pushover, stand up for myself, a conformist, getting into what everyone else likes, pretending that I'm in the loop, courteous, serve, do work, be used or anything. Cause I'm never going to be loved, I'm never going to belong, and I'm never going to have a group that I'll actually be excited to go to church with. I'm never going to be good. I'm never going to be great. I'm never going to be better than anyone.
-Rei
又在想太多了。
NEED TO CALM DOWN. NEED TO THINK RATIONALLY. NOT GONNA FALL INTO THAT TRAP AGAIN.
Must... Focus... On... DAEHYUN!
I've been working on a new blog lately. It a blog for my writing funsies! Cause I'm kinda annoyed that I don't have a separate blog for that stuff! It was probably scheduled to have been "unveiled" sometime in the next 2 weeks... purely because the piece I was going to post first was a short that was slowly developing into its own monster of an one-shot. But without further ado! Onward!
R E I
Taurus
16
O Blood
✪ W R I T T E N ✪ J A C K I E ✪ V I C K I ✪ L Y D I A ✪ N I C O L E & A M Y
Hedonistic.
Friday, March 9, 2012 / 12:27 AMFor some odd reason this is the hardest I've ever attempted to work in my life. I've been passing up everything I love in order to work hard. Eating food, watching stuff, stalking celebrities... Hanging out. Everyday I'm so tired. I feel like all my energy is gone. All for the purpose of "working hard". And sometimes it's towards a destination and a feeling of glory I don't particularly understand. I think mediocre people have the suffocating need to break out of mediocracy. To be good at any one thing, whether it be being social, singing, sports, dieting, being the most interesting person... heck. AP BIO... But sometimes I look at all the effort that is put in... in comparison to my ideal hedonistic lifestyle... and is this the reality I wanted exactly?
-Rei
Labels: Daydreams
Saturi.
Thursday, March 8, 2012 / 12:28 AM
I can love anyone who speaks with "saturi". I really love Busan people. They're awesome.
-Rei
Labels: My Escape
Typical.
Saturday, March 3, 2012 / 12:27 PMWHY ARE ALL MY TEACHERS LOSING MY ASSIGNMENTS...?
/rageragerage.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
-Rei
Labels: Daydreams
Why can't I say?
Thursday, March 1, 2012 / 8:29 PMWhy Can't I Say?
New short, written before I close my writing blog to outsiders/non-requestees for good. Although I doubt anyone cares.
Kinda written while I was in a bad mood.
Well. Sucks to suck.
-Rei
Labels: My Escape, my Heartbeat
Sucks to suck.
/ 6:22 PMIf I can't be good at anything, might as well do nothing.
Sometimes I try to think I'm good at something, but I can't seem to find anything I'm better than mediocre in. It doesn't matter if I work hard, if I quit. The outcome is all the same. There's really very little point in trying anymore. No. I'm never gonna have an IQ of near 200. I'm never going to understand anything, it doesn't matter if I study or read the book or make notecards or read up on stuff online. I'm never going to be smart. I'm never going to get a good test grade. It doesn't matter if the class is easy, if the test is easy. I'm never going to do well. It's so damn frustrating. It doesn't matter if I try to run more, it doesn't matter if I eat less and eat healthy. It won't make me more fit, it won't make me more skinny. It doesn't matter if I do squats or lunges as a workout all the time. I'm going to be fat, and my thighs are gonna be huge and I'm not going to be even able to buy long boots. It doesn't matter if I learn how to do make up and like to pretend I'm pretty, there's always going to be someone out there that's beautiful and therefore loved. It doesn't fucking matter at all that I try at anything, it doesn't matter if I try to be kind, obedient, a friend, a pushover, stand up for myself, a conformist, getting into what everyone else likes, pretending that I'm in the loop, courteous, serve, do work, be used or anything. Cause I'm never going to be loved, I'm never going to belong, and I'm never going to have a group that I'll actually be excited to go to church with. I'm never going to be good. I'm never going to be great. I'm never going to be better than anyone.
-Rei
Labels: Illusions, my Heartbeat, Seeking for Myself, Woken up to Reality
Get down, get down, g-g-g-g-get down.
Sunday, February 26, 2012 / 6:04 PM又在想太多了。
NEED TO CALM DOWN. NEED TO THINK RATIONALLY. NOT GONNA FALL INTO THAT TRAP AGAIN.
Must... Focus... On... DAEHYUN!
Merong~Merong~Merong~
FOCUS!
-Rei
Labels: Daydreams, My Escape, my Heartbeat
Lyrical Sarang.
Saturday, February 25, 2012 / 12:57 AMI've been working on a new blog lately. It a blog for my writing funsies! Cause I'm kinda annoyed that I don't have a separate blog for that stuff! It was probably scheduled to have been "unveiled" sometime in the next 2 weeks... purely because the piece I was going to post first was a short that was slowly developing into its own monster of an one-shot. But without further ado! Onward!
I learned only bad things from you. I habitually lie... Click to read more! First short in hopefully very many! But that's just a taste of how my new blog is gonna be organized. Hopefully my writing has developed into something better. Or will progressively do so.
On a side note: I'll be closing it (locking it to private, invitation-only) so if you'd like an invitation to read further from that blog. Just tell me! And an email will be coming your way! This blog will probably be closed within the next 2 weeks.... Tentative date... March 3rd . Yeah! So :) I'm excited.
Just as a warning though, this first one is light and fluffy... but trust me. Soon enough it will not be so. I'll post proper warnings on the posts. SO PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO TAGS. PG = PG. PG-13 = PG-13. NC-17 = NC-17. YOU DIG? RATINGS MATTER.
- Rei
Labels: Daydreams, Words Unspoken